Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Where have you been!

Me : "Forgive me blog for I have sinned, It has been 3 months 13 days since my last update...what is the penance for this sin?"

Blog : "A bloody big update!"

The best laid plans 

Isn't it funny how despite our best intentions to do something, or to not do something, it always seems just a little bit harder than we anticipated? For a lot of people this sort of topic springs up around about New Year but in reality we make plans all the time, and I dont know about you guys but as soon as I make a plan the world seems to bend over backwards to make sure it doesnt happen.

...WHAM! Speed bump! And it slows you down or knocks you off course and then you find yourself on this downward spiral and miles and miles away from where you started, or where you thought you'd be.

I originally started this blog as a sort of writing outlet. Somewhere I could set targets and keep tabs on my progress towards certain goals. And at the time, my goals were, in my mind, modest..

Originally I was aiming for 1500 words a week. Remember in school when your English teacher used to say "Write an 800 word essay..." to which the reply was almost always a mass expression of exasperation from the class:

"800 words?! Itll take hours! Doesnt he know Ive got ten other subjects?!"

Well, (to anyone lucky enough to be studying higher English who may be reading) let me tell you, 800 words is easy!!! Hell 1500 words is easy!

The chances are that without much effort this blog post will be in the region of 1500 words and all Im really doing is telling you what has happened recently. It probably wont even take me that long to do, 45 minutes? An hour, tops.

But let me tell you this too. Its bloomin' tough to write 1500 words a week.

The 1500 word target (had I stuck to it) would have seen me sitting at 46500 beautifully crafted, lyrically listed, fandabuloucious words. For those who dont know, that's roughly half a novel.

For whatever reason, I have failed to meet this target, in fact Ive failed to reach 10% of this target.

The plan I had made failed to materialise, it didnt happen.

Am I upset about it?


The reason I've not been writing about things I've been doing, is because I've been too busy doing stuff to write!

What's been happening

So what have I been doing that has taken up so much time? Well, loads!

Way to much to talk about in just one blog update (unless you've got about 6 months of free time to read about it all!)

There have been camping trips and wigwams and nights out and restaurants and cinemas and sailing, yes sailing...in an actual ship with sails! Bowling and mini-golfing, I've done fund-raising and watched some nutters (and I mean that in a nice way, you are nuts Connie ;) ) jump off of cranes with exaggerated elastic bands around their ankles. I finally played laser quest which I always wanted to do as a teenager!

Only this weekend I was on an inflatable gladiator joust getting beat up by my girlfriends dad! (*cough* I let him win. *cough* ;) )

And its funny, because looking back at my blog posts last year they seem so full of energy, so happy! But it's only now that I'm as happy as I am that I realise how much of life I was missing this time last year.

And the change in me is all down to one special person who I discovered so randomly. In the bathroom of all places! She is an exceptional person...

But before I go any further I just remembered a home-made bow and arrow, a flaming marshmallow and a "one in a million" shot resulting in someone being shot in the bum which I just need to have a rant about...


When did we all get so bloody smart? Eh!

The event in question happened at the WigWams I mentioned above, and dont get me wrong, it was hysterical.

And I knew it would be! In fact I was so confident that I whipped out my shiny new Nokia Lumia all singing all dancing Windows powered phone to record the occasion.

Then I laughed so hard I dropped the phone and the blinkin screen shattered!

Who, in the name of the wee man, decided to make mobile phones so fragile? I mean it spends all day getting knocked about in hand bags or trouser pockets. It's pushed and prodded and flicked and switched and shook and spends most of its day fewer than a few feet away from the rigours that we put ourselves through daily. And yet, the screen is so fragile that an unexpected fart threatens to blow shards of glass asunder!

Why is it that as technology gets smarter, and we rely on it more and more, it becomes so much more fragile?


Answer me that Mr Big Wig mobile phone developer!

And its not just me (or the Lumia model). How many Iphones have you seen with a gorgeous big crack right up the middle of the screen, rendering the hand set useless because the new fancy-pants touch screen mode won't respond any more!

It never used to happen! Remember the original mobile phones? They were just a shade bigger than house bricks and weighed about as much as a Ford Ka.

If you dropped them there was no threat to the equipment! God help the paving slab you dropped it on right enough but thats a whole lot cheaper to replace!

And it doesnt just stop there. It may just be me but it seems that technology is getting so smart it's getting stupid.

I work in a business where I am, like most people, totally reliant on access to information. Id have been as well to buy a bloody Dictaphone and record the statement "The system has crashed." the amount of times I've uttered the words!

Honestly, go back twenty years, even ten! When did you ever phone anywhere and have someone tell you that "My filing cabinets have crashed" or "My paper isn't working today."

The worst that could happen would be a pen would run out of ink and at the time that was a disaster. Now we have corporate companies, banks, ISP's and even the MoD totally reliant on computer systems that in my experience seem determined to crash! One day humanity will evolve and we'll re-discover pen and paper.

Cheap, reliable, easily accessible and doesnt break when you hit it with a hammer.

And who the hell keeps moving page "HTTP Error 404 - Page not found"? Could you please put it back after using it because I am getting sick of having to change browsers just for the pleasure of reviewing it's contents!!!!!


I feel better now. So back to it,


I always considered myself an independent person. I never really opened up to anyone, I certainly didnt rely on anyone and I never really imagined that meeting one person would be able to change my life in a particularly drastic manor.

Well boy let me tell you was I wrong.

For the first time ever I find myself not just thinking about my plans. But about our plans. Things we want to do and how things will effect us in the future.

I am happier now than I have ever been in my life because Toots is in it and even though my plan of 1500 words a week has not been met. My plans for life are so much bigger now and everyday spent with her they get a little bit closer!

The future is looking bright!

Thats all for this update,

I have recently started to write again so will be posting on the blog with a little more regularity!

Make plans, but don't be afraid to see them change,

Love life, be happy!

Hug a stranger!

Dare to Dream


1 comment:

  1. Beginning a new relationship is allowed to throw your life in the air. Glad to see your happy man. Shaun